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Motherhood

A letter to a first-time Mom: the struggle is real

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.

A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”

First-Time Mom Blog Title

As a first-time mom, what questions have you asked after your baby was born?

It’s now Month 11, Day 335, Week 47 and 5 days to be exact. 

Back in August 2018, I gave birth to a sweet little man. All the mixed emotions that I’ve encountered were truly felt. I just had a baby! Of course, I was up and about ‘coz I made it! It was not that hard as I’ve expected!

Hmmmmmmm…..

Yes, Mama.  It really isn’t.  But guess what? It’s just the beginning of your journey and it will never be the same as you’ve expected.  There are things that will naturally come out without you knowing.  There are things that nobody has told you and you wish you have known. But you are strong.  You are enough.  You’re now a Mother.  You can handle it.

RELATED: TRANSITION TO MOTHERHOOD: WHERE DO I BEGIN? IT’S A FRESH START!

So what were some of the questions I’ve asked myself during this entire phase of Motherhood? What are some of the things I wish I’ve known before having a baby?  Yes, I had prenatal classes but was it all covered? No, it wasn’t and it’s absolutely fine! Each one of us is different and we are all unique in many ways.

So Let’s begin and I hope you can relate as a mom and when you’ll feel this way, look at yourself and talk with Self-Love. Keep strong as it’s never gonna be the same. Let’s start.

Where do I begin?

As a first-time mom, I don’t know a lot of moms in my own community.  I don’t have a village.  I don’t have a big family with me and I don’t have people at home to guide and share experiences about motherhood.

The letter says:

Mama, you can handle it. Remember, you’re now thinking not just for one but for two.  So make sure to take care of yourself so you can take care of your little one as well.

Yes, it really takes a village but never rush.  There are a lot of valuable resources in the community which you will be able to discover yourself.  I’ve been there and they were all helpful.  You just need to access them.

RELATED: 50 SELF-CARE IDEAS FOR FIRST TIME MOMS

Am I alone?

As a first-time mom, childbirth is really hard especially when the norm is not actually the norm back home.   You do things differently and you do it to the most of your ability.  You strive to thrive.  It’s like you’re On call 24/7.  You are on your own.

The letter says:

Mama, you are amazing.  That’s why you have this call for motherhood.  It’s interesting that yes, it may be your first time and there are a lot of different things that you may not be aware of.  

But being overwhelmed is normal. You just need to control it and never let it affect you.  How? Do what your heart desires.  Don’t base your actions all from the books or the internet.  You are unique and you can do things exactly how you want to approach it.  You are enough.

RELATED: LIES AND TRUTHS ABOUT MOTHERHOOD

Am I doing it right?

As a first-time mom, I remember having questions about my postpartum recovery.  It’s just me and my husband at home and being first-time parents, we don’t know if we were doing things right.

The letter says:

Mama, it can be tough and to figure things out takes time. As a mother, your world has changed but that doesn’t mean you are doing things wrong.

Every day is a learning process and it will never end. It’s just the beginning. Your baby will grow and as time passes by, you won’t actually notice it that you have grown too. So believe in yourself because you are doing great!

RELATED: 20 POSITIVE QUOTES AND AFFIRMATIONS YOU NEED AS A MOTHER

Am I good enough?

As a first-time mom, there were times when I thought I had a colic baby, who cried for several hours and for several days. Am I doing enough? Or am I missing something?

The letter says:

Mama, there will always be good days and bad days. Yes, you might think that your baby is not happy with what you’re doing but that is not true. It will pass and as time goes by, you will figure out what makes your baby happy and what makes him upset.

You will learn how to identify his cues. You are his Mom and you will eventually know how to calm your baby. Trust your instincts.

RELATED: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO TRY SOMETHING NEW: THE BENEFITS OF MOM AND BABY BALLET

First-time Mom Title

Am I doing something wrong?

As a first-time mom, there were times when my baby was sounding sick and full of secretions that won’t go away. I felt very helpless and uneasy. Am I doing something wrong? Do I have everything that he needs?

The letter says:

In the beginning, your little one may have those secretions. Remember, he just entered into a brand new world. Try to use a humidifier and go for a steam shower. These may help.

Of course, you will need to watch and observe for signs of distress and take medical attention if needed. But Mama, you are a hero. You’re protecting your baby from illnesses. You are a good mom.

RELATED: MOMS SHARE THEIR 20 BABY MUST-HAVES ON BABY’S FIRST YEAR

Should I be bothered?

As a first-time mom, there were times when I tried my best to pump and made a stash yet my baby won’t take a bottle. What else can I do with a baby?

The letter says:

Mama, every baby is different. Don’t get alarmed if your little one won’t take a bottle, a pacifier or anything that the books say. As long as your baby is healthy, don’t compare your baby from others.

It takes time and practice and if baby won’t take it, then try offering a cup and show this to the baby. Eventually, he’ll copy this and will take his drink in time. And if he doesn’t take it, it’s not the end of the world. Maybe he’s not yet ready.

RELATED: 15 WEEKEND ACTIVITIES TO DO WITH A BABY

Am I rested?

As a first-time mom, there were times when I napped for 30 minutes and felt like I had rested well enough.

The letter says:

Now that a baby is with you, all you think about is your baby’s overall safety. You are full of energy right now..happy emotions. It’s also because of hormones.

Remember oxytocin? This is the one responsible for it. It’s not bad but Mama, get some rest. In that way, you’ll be able to take care of your little one.

RELATED: 10 POSITIVE SELF-AFFIRMATIONS FOR ALL MOMS

Am I losing my mind?

As a first-time mom, I can tell the struggle of motherhood is real.  But it’s amazing, rewarding and fulfilling. I love every second of it. But there are days I feel so exhausted that I just want to be alone. Am I losing my mind?

The letter says:

You are not losing your mind Mama. The struggle is real. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. An awesome experience you will forever cherish. As mentioned, get some rest so you won’t get too tired and exhausted.

If you want to meet some friends or have a spa day, do it! You also need your alone time. This is normal. After all the hardships from pregnancy to birth, you deserve something and a treat to yourself is a great idea to refresh and rejuvenate.

And! Don’t feel bad Mama. There are different ways to take care of yourself and the baby as well. If you need inspiration for Postpartum Fitness Ideas, check it out here and grab a 7 Day Challenge Guide. You deserve it.

RELATED: 5 POSTPARTUM FITNESS IDEAS FOR FIRST TIME MOMS

Weekend Activities-Self-Care Guide

So that’s it! I’ve learned some lessons and I want to share and inspire other moms as well. I learned to accept realistic expectations of what motherhood really looks like.  The struggle is real! I embraced the fact that everyone has their own unique experiences.

I value Self-care and setting time to balance Mom Life and Wellness is one of the best things I have practiced for myself. 

I figured that I can keep myself away from the pressure of motherhood by motivating myself in creating memories with my little one.

The original content of this article was first published in the Postpartum Support Calgary Website with A FIRST TIME-MOM’S STORY written by yours truly.

“You’ll learn to lower your expectations about what you can accomplish in a day. Some days, it will be all you can do to keep baby safe, warm, and fed. And that will be enough.”-Unknown

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Mitchelle is a first-time mom and the buzzy Mama of a sweet little man. She's here to connect with other moms, parents or soon to be parents by buzzing positively with Mom & Baby Activities filled with Self-Care Ideas, Family Fun, and Inspiration to help you balance Mom Life and Wellness. Welcome to the Hive-where Mom Life keeps buzzing!

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