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I am a C-section Mama and it’s okay: the Untold Truth

I am saddened with the fact that C-section (Caesarean) Mamas face a little judgment when natural birth didn’t go as planned. There’s that feeling of being less than a mother. Is this true?

One fact is…the stigma is real and this should not even exist.

“A good mother isn’t defined by the process of labor or whether she breastfeeds or not. A good mother is defined by the sacrifices and love she gives to her child.”- Unknown

It’s 12:10 midnight right now and it’s exactly the same time when Little M was born. Memories start flashing on how my birth story started.

I can’t believe it’s almost a year since I became a new Mama. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t so hard. But there are a lot of things I realized at this very moment.

For those who don’t know, I am a C-section Mama and it’s okay! There’s a scar that will forever be with me and it’s a reminder of my own beautiful birth story.

C-section Mama Blog Title

I read this article “The Truths that people need to know about women who had a caesarean section” from Top Healthy and you should give it a read. It outlines the Truth and the common Myths about C-section birth.

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THE WAIT…

I remember what I was told. All throughout my prenatal check-ups, I had no complications. I was so positive I’ll be having a baby by natural birth.

I went for prenatal yoga classes. I walked almost every day. I was working up until 1 week before my due date. I had no issues at all. I felt so positive and active. 

A day prior, my husband and I walked around the neighborhood; not caring about the rain that hit us. I was getting there. He’s coming soon.

Hospital Bag Checklist

THE EXCITEMENT

At 39 weeks, I started feeling anxious. Am I feeling contractions? How do I know if they are real or not? I kept counting…Is this really it?

In addition, our hospital bags were ready. Everything was packed since my 36th-week mark. I knew I was getting there. I’m excited. Who’s not?

At 10pm, I started feeling different that we immediately went to the hospital. I was given Pitocin to help induce my labor at 2 cm dilation.

But wait…I was sent home for the night and was told to come back the next morning. I’m glad I still have the night to rest at home.

In reality, I wasn’t able to rest ‘coz I was up the whole night. It won’t be too long, and he will be here.

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In need of ideas on what to include in your Baby registry? Grab your Ultimate Baby Registry Checklist here.

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THE LABOR

It’s now 7 am, we came back to the hospital. I was checked and remained at 3 cm. But yes, I am finally staying; they’re no longer sending me home. This is it.

From the time we arrived, I was up and about. I kept walking, dancing, and bouncing with the ball. My nurse was so proud of me that I kept dancing and moving. I wasn’t resting.

However, I was already feeling the pain every time there was a contraction. I got this.

In my thoughts, I’ll be like the ideal mama but I wasn’t. It will be an easy push. I won’t be getting an epidural. He will come on his own. He’s a strong baby and I’m a strong Mama. We got this.

Then the water broke. Contractions were getting stronger,but dilation remained at 4 cm. Oxytocin was given until the rate was maxed out. Still, there was no progress. Now what? What’s next?

It’s now 12 hours of labor with the maxed-out medication. I started feeling worried. The doctor came and explained to us the circumstances. It’s 11:30 pm and tears slowly fell on my face. I have to decide.

Do I want to proceed with another diagnostic test and prove that there’s really no progress? Or Am I opting for a C-section?

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DENIAL AND ACCEPTANCE

It took me a while to make a decision. My husband and I discussed the options. I was hoping for another chance. But there isn’t anymore.

My labor wasn’t progressing. I knew my baby would be above average for his size. But I am hopeful. I am strong. I am able to push and be able to deliver normally. But no. I can’t.

If we wait for another test, it won’t give progress. It will delay the situation and it will end up the same. Then I finally gave in as my pelvis was small enough for the baby’s size. I am having a Caesarean section.

Now I was now rushed to the Operating Room. I had a long rough day. I knew it was time. I will be a Mama soon. My husband was with me.

I remember I was shaking, with the fear of passing out. I also have a history of Mitral Valve Prolapse so this was pushing me so hard to think positively and never give up.

I was fighting the situation despite the uneasy feeling. My hands were shaking, and my pulse rate was getting faster; I’m now delivering a baby.

Now I asked myself. Was I hurt because I can’t deliver normally? I wonder if I was on denial or did I just accept the fact?

RELATED: A LETTER TO A FIRST-TIME MOM: THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

C-section Mama Blog Title

At 12:10 am, he finally arrived. A baby was born at 8.7 lbs. and 56 cm. They brought him to see me. His face, his eyes were just staring at me.

I got the first glimpse of our little boy – red and furious, with a face like a dumpling. I know he can’t see yet, but that time was the most precious moment of my life.

I will never forget that time. He felt his Mama. I felt my child. He heard me

I’d wanted to do skin-to-skin straight away, but it obviously wasn’t convenient, so I had to be satisfied with him lying on my upper chest while the surgeons worked to stitch me up.

I never thought this could happen…a tiny human was just laying down across me, looking as if he had known me for a long time…my heart just melted. I am a Mom and forever will be. I am happy. I felt blessed.

I was then wheeled to the recovery room, where I first fed my baby. He got his reflex immediately working. He immediately latched. I was a proud Mama. Oh boy oh boy.

One interesting thing that happened was I was stitched up quickly due to an emergency C-section of another Mom. The surgeon came back to apologize.

This didn’t bother me at the moment. I told myself that Little M was a hero from the start; that in spite of the circumstances, we were both safe and we were able to save another life.

The next day, I was discharged with no complications. Just like that. As I said, I’m a C-section Mama and it’s okay.

RELATED: 20 POSITIVE QUOTES AND SELF-AFFIRMATIONS YOU NEED AS A MOTHER

MIXED EMOTIONS

Yes, I may have delivered successfully but having a C-section has brought some strange feelings in the beginning.

I accepted it right from the start but when someone asks, why do I always have to defend the reason when I don’t have to?

Why do I have to explain what lead me to a surgical birth when I don’t have to?

Although it can be difficult to ignore these feelings, they fade with time. It can be hard to ignore comments from other people.

Talking to other parents who have had C-sections has helped me. It has given me some ideas on how to respond to unhelpful reactions that I initially thought of facing but there wasn’t really one that I encountered.

Truly, I can say I felt happy with the decision we made. But some may find it challenging to deal with.

If my birth didn’t go the way I expected, I’m glad I didn’t feel I wasn’t in control of what was happening or that I didn’t ‘do it right’.  I’m glad I didn’t feel that I have let my baby down.

However, if you feel this way, don’t hesitate to reach out. Talk to somebody as it can help. It’s not easy and it’s a common feeling. Keep strong Mama. It’s okay!

How about you? Are you a C-section Mama? Did you feel what I felt? Share your thoughts!

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” I finally realized that I was justifying my decision to have a C-section, even though it was needed for what’s best for me and the baby. Now I have accepted freely that I made the right decision for myself and my little one and that is all that matters.”

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Mitchelle is a first-time mom and the buzzy Mama of a sweet little man. She's here to connect with other moms, parents or soon to be parents by buzzing positively with Mom & Baby Activities filled with Self-Care Ideas, Family Fun, and Inspiration to help you balance Mom Life and Wellness. Welcome to the Hive-where Mom Life keeps buzzing!

15 Comments

  • SimpleTenderJoyful

    Thank you for sharing your story! I had an emergency c-section with my first, and then worked super hard to have a VBAC with my second — and was successful! I thought the VBAC would “fix” the original birth trauma. Guess what? Having a baby is hard no matter how they come out! Both births were beautiful in their own way, and now I have two healthy girls — the best outcome of all 🙂

    • MamaBuzz

      Aww That’s a wonderful story..I agree..it does not matter how your birth story goes. As long as both you and the baby are safe, that’s all that matters..:)

  • elkassih

    I first have to tell you. Your writing is mesmerizing. You did a great job describing all the events that took place. I too am a CSection Mother — 3 times in fact — and I remember how my sister-in-laws had their little snide comments about natural labor and birthing is so much better. Better than what? Holding a ‘miracle’ baby? I applaud those who are able to do and have natural labor, but when medical emergencies present themselves, we must do what we must do for our baby. I am very pro-active in this. In fact, I wrote about the miracle of my 3rd daughter, and if it hadn’t been the blessings of having 2 C-Sections with my first 2 daughters, my daughter and I would not be here. ‘The Power of Unexpected Miracles’ is the book I just published, btw.

  • Krizelle - The Minted Latte

    Wonderfully written! Wow! Over 12 hours of labor and on top of that an emergency c-section! You’re a rockstar! As an RN (not even a mama yet), I can’t even imagine the pain and everything you went through! I’m glad everything went well!

    • MamaBuzz

      Thank you so much for reading. I am a nurse myself and experiencing childbirth changed my view about Labor and Delivery. I never thought I will end up in an emergency C-section.

  • Jessica

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think there is so much fear and negativity around C-sections that it can be really overwhelming for anyone getting ready to have a baby. Your positive outlook is a nice change of pace.

    • MamaBuzz

      Yes indeed! I think it’s very common to feel overwhelmed especially when you are undergoing surgery. As a C-section Mama, it is important to stay positive and pray that it will be successful for both mom and baby.

  • Dawn

    Giving birth is SO hard no matter what! I had an induction and 42 hour labor with my first (I opted for the epidural) and the second time I had a 6 hour all natural birth! So few women get the birth story they actually want. We should be showing each other compassion and lifting each other up for this amazing thing we accomplished! Thanks for sharing!

  • Lauren Medina

    Two c-sections. I cried having to have the first one, but understood I was allowing for a safer delivery for me and my son. 30 minutes later, when I heard his cry, it didn’t really matter how he arrived.

    • MamaBuzz

      Keep strong Mama. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how our birth story ends. As long as both Mom and Baby are safe, we become the happiest person at that very special moment.

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